In Pennsylvania my family eats. Every gathering is an excuse to eat. Every venture out of the house is an excuse to eat. And every time we eat its an excuse to drink. Heres a sampling of the Pennsylvania diet, on which I’ve successfully gained nearly five pounds in 24 hours.
Yesterday we ate assiago cheese, crackers and sundried tomatoes marinated in olive oil, herbs and garlic, paired with red table wine at 11:30 in the morning. Followed by Ricotta Cannoli and Italian Cookies. Before that there were early morning bagels, cereal, muffins and juice to sustain us during our family outing to the local flea market. Coffee came along with my parents and I toted my morning red bull.
On our second round of shopping after our first round of lunch and alcohol my mother and I had Grande Carmel Frappuchinos. Returning home for a second lunch of asparagus with lemon juice and more assiago cheese, chicken salad and more wine. Also there was some pink vodka over ice being sipped on the deck. By 4pm I’d had four glasses of wine, some pink vodka and an intense array of foods, a trend that continued through the night at my grandparents.
At 6pm I switched from cheap red to equally inexpensive Chardonnay and started in on the crackers, celery and hummus. My grandmother assured that my glass remained full and by 9pm I’d had another 3 glasses of wine and a meal twice the size of all the I’d eaten leading up to it…
I’m not sure what the point is exactly, except to say that I was ridiculously full when I met my friends at the local pub to enjoy a nice Yuengling lager which made me even more painfully over full. The bar being 80 degrees and humid didn’t help matters and I’ll blame my next decision on dehydration and lunacy. After leaving the bar we hit up the local Steak and Hoagie for a Philly Cheese Steak which I took home and ate while surfing the internet at 1 in the morning.
Somewhere between 2:30 and 3am I fell into a calorie induced coma to sleep off my over indulgence and woke up 6 hours later to the smell of breakfast ready and waiting.
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