I’ve always known I’m a lucky person. Or rather I’ve lived a good life, which I reflect fondly upon and look forward to more. It’s not to say I’ve lived a life free of sadness, pain, discomfort, death, or what have you. I guess I just look at these experiences with a level head and know how formative they’ve been. I am who I am, because of each individual moment I’ve experienced. My brothers had a tough time as I grew up and I am thankful that somehow I had the awareness to learn from each one of them and their actions. My “Uncle” Derek died with HIV when I was in 5th grade. I learned early about drugs, jail, death, disease, broken families, bad friends and other various obstacles that the world presents. I can’t pretend I wasn’t an extremely sensitive child or didn’t cry and have dark brooding moments. But something about the people who I was surrounded by, the family and friends who raised me, allowed me to keep a pretty optimistic perspective on life and here I am with a bounty of amazing days, hours and years behind and in front of me.
Today while reading Post Secret, as I do weekly, I was saddened that the majority of the cards were filled with resentment towards their fathers. Not all. Some had forgiven, but many indicated that as a child they’d been neglected by their father in some way. These secrets made me think of my own upbringing and my two wonderful parents who gave me every opportunity they could and allowed me to choose my path as I saw fit.
It’s important to me as an adult not to hold anyone accountable for my pain or sadness, or really not to hold anyone accountable for anything that has happened to me – Good or Bad. I miss my grandparents, but it’s not anyones fault that they have passed on. I miss “Uncle” Derek and wish I had known him into adulthood when I could have truly appreciated a stiff drink at his side and the antics I was never privy to as a child, but death takes us at some time if by accident, disease, or age death is life. I suppose the catalyst for writing this was that I wonder how we all process life so differently. What does it take to be a light spirit who learns from challenges and is happier for it?
My happy heart is the product of my environment. I praise the warm and wonderful people that bless my days. My father is one of the most optimistic and gentle people on earth he has given me patience, humor, and people skills along with great dimples. My mother has experienced pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone and she has given me her spirit, strength, candor and confidence. Together as two separate forces they didn’t always agree, but they made me who I am.
This is one of the more light hearted Father’s Day themed Post Secrets. I don’t think my Dad ever called me by the dogs name, but if he did I wouldn’t mind. Katie was pretty close to Kristy and she was one of the best dogs who ever lived.
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