When someone says to you “its so sad to watch you grow” you’d either hope they meant it in a “I’m getting old and too much time has passed way” or they were kidding.
But what if they’re not?
I am recently single… for pretty much the first time in 6 or so years. Thats a long time to be at the mercy of a duo. Of someone else expectations, schedule, happiness, beliefs, support, judgements, etc. Every so often I become single for a series of weeks or even months, but it never seems long enough. People seem to spend so much time yearning for companionship, myself included. But there seems to be something inherently wrong with my inability to stay alone. To stay solitary. To be simply Kristy, without the and ____________. It’s almost 5am. I’ve just spent an hour being told by an Ex about how he misses the me he knew in HS. How he thinks my goals and aspirations are lacking. He said “Im just amazed that youre happy, that this is what you want. rock on.living with 3 strange guy roomates and not doing anything thats related to your major, I refuse to believe this is the direction you wanted.” At first I was appalled that someone could make such a judgement. Then I was concearned that he could be right. (ever so briefly) Until I finally said “Kristy, fuck him, fuck everyone else, if you are happy then rock on.”
So yeah. Fuck you.
I’m happy.
I had a killer weekend, which isn’t even over yet. It included Pimps and Hos Night at Erin’s for Deb’s Bday party, scouring the Northern Metro Boston area for a “Boozamatic” and a fabulous girls nite in Providence that included a kick ass Dropkick Murpheys Concert. I danced and sang like crazy. Then came home to Len Ryan and Dave cheering my arrival (I haven’t really been home in a three days) and had beers over Conan with them while catching up on one anothers lives. It rocked. My weekend rocked. And I’m looking forward to time and a half at work tomorrow, hopefully followed by plans to chill later that night.
On the highway today listening to The Donnas I happily thought to myself “I am not at the will of anyone else” and with new significance it becomes my mantra.
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