Its one of those time periods.. .a week maybe more, where I can’t keep up with myself. I have bills to pay and bank accounts to manage. I have resumes to review and send out. I have to clean. I need to eat healthier and spend less out. I need to find references and fill out applications. I need to do my taxes. First I have to track down all of my w-2 forms. Damn. I need to send emails and be aware of my work schedule. I need to call people back. But living life like a normal human being, waking up at 7am and getting to work by 9. Getting home by 7… it doesnt leave enough time. I just blank out when I get home. And accomplish nothing. Or I’ll go to work #3 and get home at 11:30. Then I’m totally screwed. I have scripts to remember and readings to do. I have photos to edit and print. I need to change my every day.
So I’m in a bar right now. Writing on my laptop. Not because I’ve chosen this valuable time to waste rather than do laundry, but because I’ve agreed to meet a friend. Who is very late. I don’t mind so much. I’m enjoying the time its given me to write those emails I’ve been meaning to get around to.. and now time to think about what I need to do. And time to enjoy the delicious fruity subtlety of a glass of Allagash. And munch on a really delicious plate of seared scallops.
Mostly on the train when I should be reading I’ll listen to my Ipod. Today I had the absolute best mix of songs. FInally… normally I’m forced to skip through david sedaris who is hilarious, but generally grating and anoying when he pops in between the beatles and ben folds. Radiohead, STP, Versus, Rainer Maria and Papa M made up a really perfect sampling of my music collection. But I should really use the time to expand my mind, which is growing ever more numb and empty. I dunno… the point of all this is… I’m exhausted and yet lucky. This weekend NO WORK! FINALLY. Last weekend I worked two eight hour shifts and friday night and felt as if i was stuck in the gears of the machine, my body being shredded and pummeled without hope of rescue.
I’m going to finish my scallops. Aaaand… go have a relaxing Friday and Saturday… until Sunday when I must succumb to all that I’ve been ignoring and conquer.
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